54: What to do after a binge

00:00:00:05 - 00:00:24:09

Lyndi

Okay. I would like to tell you, your your weight is not the problem. It really isn't. I know you've been made to think your weight is a problem your entire life, but honestly, it's just been a red herring making you focus on diets that really suck and your weight is not. The problem is the title of my new book and I would really like you to read it if you've ever been made to feel like you need to worry about your weight that you're fixating on your weight is going to help you lose weight, which is nonsense.

00:00:24:16 - 00:00:43:16

Lyndi

This is the book you need to read. We tackle body image. We help you with practical strategies to feel normal, relaxed, and freedom around food, which are all fabulous things you also deserve. Please go to my website, Lyndi Cohen dot com and check out my new book. It's available from all great retailers. Please check it out.

00:00:43:20 - 00:00:55:22

Jenna

Hello. This is the No Wellness Wanker podcast where each week we dove into little bit about the wellness diet industry, give you some tips to navigate it. My name is Jenna D’Apice and I'm joined by the lovely Lyndi Cohen.

00:00:56:01 - 00:01:14:18

Lyndi

Welcome, everyone. Today we're talking about binge eating something very close to my heart because I have personal experience from it. And I'm a dietitian who really specializes in this area. This is the whole specialty, the whole thing. And it's incredibly common, which is what I want you to know at the offset. If you feel like you're binge eating, you feel out of control food, why can't I stop eating?

00:01:14:24 - 00:01:20:24

Lyndi

There's nothing wrong with you. It's a very normal reaction. But what should we do after we've had a binge?

00:01:20:24 - 00:01:30:18

Jenna

This is it. So a lot of the time we talk about like big picture recovery. Go into your Keep It Real program, all these things you could do. But I suppose what are some things you could do in the short.

00:01:30:18 - 00:01:32:20

Lyndi

Term and the short term really matters when the time.

00:01:32:20 - 00:01:33:24

Jenna

Really matters.

00:01:34:02 - 00:01:42:07

Lyndi

So this is common thinking we have. So let's say you're like, okay, cool, I've just finished. I've just come to just yeah, I wasn't have a moment.

00:01:42:07 - 00:01:43:19

Jenna

And you like, oh wow, I'm back.

00:01:44:01 - 00:02:08:07

Lyndi

I'm back. Sometimes the only reason that a binge would stop for me was because someone came home. And that privacy, the shame I couldn't couldn't keep eating because I was forced out of it or I'd run out of food or like I just I didn't know physically. I mean, somehow you can eat so much when you were binge eating, they've done some interesting research that actually the amount you can fit into your stomach is kind of abnormal in relation to how big your stomach size is.

00:02:08:07 - 00:02:27:22

Lyndi

Is this like psychological factors override your fullness receptors anyway, but I kind of go right will finish a binge now and my gut reaction would be to go, we need to fix this. Yep. And I think that's the number one thing we need to be mindful of is the first thing we do is we notice that voice in our brain that says we need to fix this.

00:02:27:22 - 00:02:47:24

Lyndi

We need to compensate by underwriting tomorrow, by over exercising. Sometimes I would even like put my exercise clothes on and go running at like 10 p.m. at night and do crazy things like that. I would put the aircon on really high, so I'd try and freeze myself into burning more energy as I slept, which by the way, is awful strategy.

00:02:48:01 - 00:02:48:22

Lyndi

You don't sleep well and.

00:02:49:07 - 00:02:50:06

Jenna

That doesn't work. No.

00:02:50:07 - 00:03:00:03

Lyndi

And you don't really deserve any more energy. Anyway, I would make a plan that I would write out how I was going to, you know, not eat as much tomorrow.

00:03:00:03 - 00:03:11:07

Jenna

Yeah. Plan your day tomorrow. I was doing, like, cleaning my teeth, like like. Oh, that'll stop. And then that'll be the end. Or signaling that it's over a lot of planning.

00:03:11:07 - 00:03:33:18

Lyndi

So number one thing then is to acknowledge, to notice this trend, to want to do this and to go, okay, I notice I'm trying to like compensate for the binge and I think you need to understand why this is not work so that you can kind of go all cool I willing to stop because currently you think these compensatory behaviors of trying to eat less and planning I guess is a way of feeling like you're in control of a situation that you're not in control of.

00:03:34:09 - 00:03:52:19

Lyndi

But the fundamental truth is, the more that you're going to compensate and restrict, the more you're likely to set yourself up for another binge of the binge is going to be more intense. So think of it like a pendulum swinging. With the more momentum we pull back into one extreme side, the more as much momentum is going to propel us into the other extreme.

00:03:53:01 - 00:04:15:05

Lyndi

And so the high that we restrict the height of the binges. So if we can reduce the restrict, we reduce the binge. Once you understand that, that's a very important aspect, that these compensatory behaviors aren't helping you maintain your weight, they're not helping you feel controlled around food. They are the very thing causing you to binge eat and that, you know, you think, well, if I didn't do them, my weight would spiral out of control.

00:04:15:05 - 00:04:23:03

Lyndi

I would I wouldn't stop eating. No. The compensatory behaviors thing we need to change first. And you're going to notice an improvement in you binge eating by doing that alone.

00:04:23:17 - 00:04:44:04

Jenna

Because I think, as you said, it's so easy to get stuck in the cycle because one just keeps leading to the other and you think that one will fix the problem, but one just keeps you on the hamster wheel. It's actually so we resisting. So it's the first step kind of acknowledging that it's happening and resisting that urge to compensate.

00:04:44:04 - 00:04:45:06

Jenna

What should people do next?

00:04:45:06 - 00:04:56:16

Lyndi

Yeah. So I also want you to be mindful of the guilt and the shame that you're experiencing, the way that you're being yourself up. Are you still exercising? I think you should. I'd love you to do is to I mean journal. No what I'm going to ask you is like.

00:04:56:20 - 00:04:57:09

Jenna

Channeling is.

00:04:57:09 - 00:05:14:22

Lyndi

Hard fiddling is hard. It doesn't have to be just like doesn't have to be as fancy pants as journaling with your phone, open the notes section and just start like a free flow of what's going on in your brain. And don't paraphrase, just write down all these thoughts. That's also going to help us understand what what is propelling us into the next binge.

00:05:15:03 - 00:05:34:01

Lyndi

And it's these thoughts of I've messed up. I shouldn't have done that. How am I going to fix this? And I want you to become really aware of because it's these thoughts that we change. I think we have this idea that we change our behavior as the first thing that we do, but that's not correct. What we change, we change the thought because the thought is the reason that we do the behavior.

00:05:34:01 - 00:05:51:20

Lyndi

So let's work on changing our thoughts so we can change our behavior. So let's first become aware of those thoughts by writing them down and then you going to have a you going to reread and go. It's a bit of a clear picture of what's happening because this guilt and shame, I want us to know that shame is a very terrible motivator to keep us doing healthy things.

00:05:52:03 - 00:05:58:00

Lyndi

You can't make yourself into a version of yourself that you like. If you if you could, I bet you you wouldn't.

00:05:58:09 - 00:05:59:16

Jenna

He would have done it by now.

00:05:59:16 - 00:06:01:02

Lyndi

He has finished by now.

00:06:01:13 - 00:06:14:00

Jenna

I feel like that guilt and shame just brings on like these self-sabotage behaviors and a self-fulfilling prophecy of what you think you are and you think you're worth and you just keep feeding into the same thing.

00:06:14:00 - 00:06:33:06

Lyndi

Yeah. And you know who takes good care of themselves? Happy people. Happy people. People who like themselves. There's nothing more motivating than when you like yourself and you go, I want to do something that I, I like how this makes me feel. I like the energy gives me I like who I am. That is such a different place.

00:06:33:06 - 00:06:45:18

Lyndi

That is that is such good motivation. That is not flimsy, flaky motivation. And that's what I want for you. So whenever we notice that self, that negative self-talk, we need to kind of interrupt it because it's not our friend.

00:06:45:18 - 00:06:49:10

Jenna

It is not our friend. So guilt and shame, another huge part.

00:06:49:17 - 00:06:57:17

Lyndi

So now we have this list, right? We kind of go we've written all these notes and like we've got this like word dump.

00:06:57:20 - 00:06:59:06

Jenna

Oh, yes, the word dump. Yes.

00:06:59:10 - 00:07:15:06

Lyndi

Then what we do is we go, okay, what does this bench teach me? So this there's two perspectives you can have. You can either see each bench as a failure and go, I screwed up again. This is just a sign for whatever I'm doing is not working, that I am a failure. But we can do that old shit.

00:07:15:06 - 00:07:32:12

Lyndi

Let's not because the other alternative is to do this. So we go, no. Each binge is an opportunity to learn more about why I bench. Yeah. Okay. So you can't stop binge eating without binge eating. It's an essential part of the recovery process. You don't suddenly go from binge eating multiple times a day to never bingeing. That's just not going to happen.

00:07:32:12 - 00:07:38:15

Lyndi

And I think when people on the recovery journey, they're like, Oh, I was doing so well, and then I binge and now I've messed up. It's all.

00:07:38:15 - 00:07:39:03

Jenna

Over.

00:07:39:03 - 00:08:02:00

Lyndi

Again. Yes. Yeah, you haven't. No, this is this expect to binge. But when we binge, can we change our reaction to it? So this immediate what happens after a binge is essential because each binge is going to teach you a lot about what caused this and what I want you to start to understand is what triggered it. So whether it's fatigue or, you know, a comment from a colleague, was it a time of day?

00:08:02:01 - 00:08:11:02

Lyndi

You know, was it like, okay, well, I always binge at nighttime and therefore it was like, you know, I binge when my partner leaves the house and I have the house to myself. Was what is it?

00:08:11:02 - 00:08:23:13

Jenna

Was it restriction? Was it you went to a barbecue or something and you didn't have any of the birthday cake because you weren't allowing yourself to. And then you wanted something when you got home.

00:08:23:23 - 00:08:39:22

Lyndi

Exactly. Did you buy a certain food at the grocery shop? That's always been a bit of a trigger food for you. And then you found you couldn't stop eating that. What was it? So so then we think about, well, each binge is going to teach us something. Then if we can, we start to keep notes and this is going to help us with the next time we binge.

00:08:40:01 - 00:08:54:12

Lyndi

Okay. So these are the key things I want you to do when you binge. And if we can kind of do these three things, these three primary things, I think you're going to be in a much better position. I often get asked the question, how do I prevent a binge from happening here? This is where you prevent the binge.

00:08:55:00 - 00:09:07:01

Lyndi

You know that feeling where you like. It's like the afternoon you've been restricting your day. You're like, Oh, I can feel the binge coming on. People often be like, How do I stop a binge at that point? And sadly, I want to tell you it's to like which is I'll go on at that point.

00:09:07:01 - 00:09:07:05

Jenna

Yeah.

00:09:07:05 - 00:09:31:13

Lyndi

Like, yeah, like we're like the scene has been set. A binge is inevitable. What we can do at that point is we can minimize the binge. And one way, if we keep a binge, we aggravate a binge, we binge more is by telling ourselves and only allowed one more piece after this piece of bread I'm going to stop after I finish this chocolate mousse with this binge is finished that keeps us binge eating.

00:09:31:19 - 00:09:41:22

Jenna

And it also probably when you're trying to stop it, you'll then pick the lowest calorie option or the healthiest option or the best option, you think to start with and just keep building.

00:09:42:01 - 00:09:58:07

Lyndi

Exactly. So we really want to stop that. We want to stop this idea of I'll just finish the packet and start fresh tomorrow. Keynotes help start fresh tomorrow is very much that restrict mindset. It's almost like telling our brain, Oh, the famine starts tomorrow, so we may as well eat as much food as we possibly can right now while we still have access to it.

00:09:58:07 - 00:10:16:23

Lyndi

Yes. So the anecdote to all of this is a mantra that I find very useful. You might be able to find a little I mean, I didn't use mantra. It's just a my vibe, a little phrase that you can ask yourself that makes you feel like, hmm, I got this. And this is an important phrase. It is, any time I want more food, I'm allowed to have more food.

00:10:17:10 - 00:10:31:16

Jenna

This is a powerful, powerful phrase for someone that hasn't had a dieting mindset their whole life. That was not a thing. That is not true and that is not something that goes through your brain. So it's very powerful to I feel I guess mantra feels a bit woo woo.

00:10:31:21 - 00:10:33:04

Lyndi

But it is.

00:10:33:12 - 00:10:42:05

Jenna

So there is this merit to it. It works like your brain is a powerful thing and there's a part of you that can tell it what to think if you repeat it.

00:10:42:05 - 00:10:57:21

Lyndi

Exactly. So here we go again. We're told that this idea that your thoughts are the things we want to influence and that changes behavior. Let's not forget that. So anytime I want more food, I'm allowed to have more food. I'm not trying to limit the size of this binge. I'm not trying to curb it. I'm not trying to stop it.

00:10:58:05 - 00:11:10:14

Lyndi

You might just say to yourself, may binge. I'm bingeing right now. Okay, we're going to we're going to learn a lot from this binge and just allies of the I'm going to eat as much as I need to right now for this binge to take its course.

00:11:10:14 - 00:11:10:22

Jenna

Yeah.

00:11:11:13 - 00:11:35:14

Lyndi

And settle into that, reminding yourself that, you know, whatever it is you're picking up as you're bingeing, whether it's the peanut butter or the cereal, I can eat as much of this as I want right now. There's no hold back. I can have more of this tomorrow. Later tonight, any time I want. There is more. And with that knowledge, what we're doing is we're doing the exact opposite of what that restrict compensatory brain tells us to do, which is like there is a limit on how much we're having.

00:11:35:14 - 00:11:38:23

Lyndi

We're saying there is no limit. The limit does not exist.

00:11:38:23 - 00:11:39:23

Jenna

The limit does not exist.

00:11:40:16 - 00:12:03:12

Lyndi

And it's incredible how that is the thing that can help us ease out of a binge instead of waiting for someone to come home or for the food to run out, it can at least minimize that binge to some degree. And it might not. But it's worth trying, my friends. I hope this is helpful. I know this is just like a quick little guide if you are struggling with binge eating.

00:12:03:16 - 00:12:21:08

Lyndi

I care. I care a lot to help you. It might keep it real. Program. I step you through the processes we need to take in order to stop binge eating using an evidence based approach. It's everything I wish someone taught me when I was binge eating. It would have saved me a lot of time. But not only that, as I give you personalized support inside the program.

00:12:21:08 - 00:12:37:06

Lyndi

So like if you've got a question going about what should I do in this situation, I come in there and I give you really considered feedback. It's one of the positive. The most positive things people say about the program is that I'm there, I'm cheering for you. I really want this for you. So check out my keep a Real Program.

00:12:37:06 - 00:12:53:23

Lyndi

I'll leave a link to it in the show notes. You can go find out more. And I also have my free five day course to help you stop binge eating if you've ever if you like. I just want a taster. I just want to get some ideas, some fresh inspiration. Sign up to that. Also include a link there before the so that you've got a free option for you if you need that extra support.

00:12:54:05 - 00:13:12:24

Jenna

I definitely recommend looking at all India's resources if you are struggling with this, because when you're in the depths of it, you don't feel like you can stop and you can recover, but you definitely can. And there's a whole life out there waiting to be thrived, loved and enjoyed. And it's really possible for you. But thank you so much for listening.

00:13:13:08 - 00:13:28:16

Jenna

If you would love to leave a review or write, we'd love to read it and hear from you. And if you'd like to check out Lyndi on Instagram nude and go nutritionist, if you have any comments or questions, send them through. We'd love to hear from you and we'll talk to you next time. Thanks.

00:13:31:23 - 00:13:50:13

Lyndi

Hey, everyone. And before we get started in the podcast episode, I just want to tell you a little bit about how I might be able to help you if you want to get a healthy relationship with food because oh, my goodness, there's a whole lot of stuff that's working against us all the time. Hello, diet, culture. So if you ever want to do a little bit more personalized support, check on my program.

00:13:50:13 - 00:14:06:02

Lyndi

Keep it real. Especially if you're struggling with binge eating. You feel like every Monday you start from scratch. If you feel like you know what you should be eating, but you just can't stick to it if you feel like you want to eat healthier. But honestly, it just feels like you're out of control through your face planting into the fragile the pantry.

00:14:06:10 - 00:14:23:10

Lyndi

I can help you binge either. And I really do. I do get it. So check out Keep It Real. Use the code podcast to get 20% off if you if you get it by the the website and also I also got my app called back to basics back to basics is an app to help you be healthy without dieting and help you work in your body.

00:14:23:10 - 00:14:44:19

Lyndi

Image gives you a whole bunch of hundreds of recipes that are super quick and easy to make so you can just be healthy without having to get obsessed with that at all, without it taking over your life, because that's the way it should be. Plus, you get mindset support for me inside the app. You also get a whole bunch of workouts that you can do at home while you can still just do your normal workouts.

00:14:45:03 - 00:14:56:05

Lyndi

But check out back to basics. You can get it for free for seven days. Check out Back to Basics on my website, use the code again podcast to get 20% off. And I'd love to see in there. I'd love to see in that.